Tag Archives: newsletter

If I became a parent today…

2 May

The prompt for this week’s Theme Thursday was “…non-traditional parenting choices. What do you do that’s “unusual”? Do you co-sleep? Do you let your eight-year-old cook dinner? Tell us all about it!”

This made me sad.

I have no children. I have nothing to contribute.

But then I thought, maybe these ladies think they can block me out of their sharing shenanigans, but they are SO WRONG. I will just share what would happen if I became a parent today.

  • If I became a parent today, it would probably make things awkward with my boyfriend. We’ve only been dating 10 months so it would have meant we got pregnant by immaculate conception. I don’t know if he’d be open to helping me raise our miracle baby so I might be searching for a barn to sleep in.
  • If I became a parent today, my  boss might not appreciate my shoving a pack and play into the corner next to my cubicle. Luckily, people are already burning popcorn and cooking fish in the microwave so a few stinky diapers here and there wouldn’t make things any worse for the wear.
  • If I became a parent today, I would finally get the people upstairs back for having loud sex by drowning them out with the sounds of a crying child.
  • If I became a parent today, it would mean I always got a seat on the bus and people would move to get out of my way.
  • If I became a parent today, it would be just in time to have the whole summer off for maternity leave. Perfect timing.
  • If I became a parent today, I bet my mom would stop considering a move to Florida (don’t leave me, Mom!!).
  • If I became a parent today, my trip to Charleston tomorrow would likely have to be cancelled, and that is NOT going to happen.

See y’all when I get back!!

I linked up for Theme Thursday:

Guess what?! I won Kate’s (from Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine) Caption That last week! Woohoo! See what you can come up with for this week’s photo!

Plus, I was featured in The Life I Live’s first newsletter! Check it out and let me know what you think!

AND The Insomniac’s Dream, creator of the ABC’s of Swearing challenge nominated me for a Very Inspiring Blogger Award. Thanks biatch!

Whew! I am leaving town on a high note…

Kate sig

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