Meet my dad’s girlfriend

“You know, we could still cancel,” I said to my boyfriend.

“Katie, you know we can’t do that,” he replied. “You can talk to a brick wall. I’m sure you can sit through dinner with this woman.”

Easy for him to say. The last time I saw her was at the surprise 25th anniversary party I threw for my parents. She attended with her husband. That was five years ago.

“Alright, let’s go,” I skillfully sulked.

We walked to the restaurant and were told we could wait at the bar. I had wanted to arrive early to suck down a glass of wine before their arrival any ways. So I did just that.

Time ticked. We got our table and sat down. They texted they would be late. They had to bring her spawn somewhere on the way and it took longer than expected. More wine for me.

I began to relax. I could handle this. I loosened my grip on my boyfriend’s hand. He flexed his fingers in relief.

“Katie,” I heard over my shoulder.

“Hi Dad,” I said as I gave him half of a hug. “Hi Mary*.”

“Why did you pick this place?” she said. “I can’t hear myself think.”

“I think its great,” my dad said.

“It’s one of our favorites,” my boyfriend said. “We thought you’d like it.”

“Oh,” said Mary with a frown.

We all sat down.

We ordered appetizers and when they arrived Mary sent them back.

“Too cold,” she said.

My boyfriend squeezed my leg to acknowledge how nice I was being and likely to keep me staying that way.

We ordered our meals and when they arrived Mary sent hers back.

“Too salty,” she snapped. “Don’t bother bringing me anything else.”

My boyfriend paused awkwardly as he was bringing a bite of the same meal to his lips. He then shrugged and continued eating. It was fine with him.

I went to the bathroom and ran into the waitress on the way. We were regulars at this restaurant and she recognized us.

“I’m so sorry you are being treated this way. She doesn’t belong to me,” I said.

“I’m sorry you’re sitting with her,” she laughed.

Back at the table we wrapped things up. Mary suggested we do this again. We nodded dumbly in agreement.

We all stood up and walked them to their car. Mary leaned in for a hug and I stuck out my hand.

“Oh Katie, really?” she said rolling her eyes.

“I’m not much of a hugger,” I apologized as my dad rubbed my shoulder.

They got in the car and left and I looked at my boyfriend. “I did good, right?”

“Yah,” he laughed. “You did good.”

He grabbed my hand and we walked home making fun of her the entire way. Well, maybe I made fun of her the entire way while he listened. But it helped.

* Name was changed to protect the not so innocent.

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