Maybe you could stroke my ego while you rub my feet

19 Mar

I had a feeling of deja vu the other day as I was sitting in the nail salon indulging in a little mid-day manicure and pedicure while the women chatted to each other in a language I did not understand. As I leaned back in the massage chair (do these things really accomplish anything?), I had a flashback to a couple of years ago.

I was in a similar chair in a similar salon in a not so similar location. At the time I was living in Florida. I frequented this nail salon often enough to be remembered, but not often enough to have a standing appointment. They knew my face, but not my name. Although apparently they also knew my relationship status.

As I flipped through an outdated issue of People, the following conversation occurred:

Manicurist: You got boyfriend yet?
Me: No, not yet.
Manicurist: Maybe you go to gym, you get boyfriend.
Other manicurist (rubbing the feet of woman awkwardly pretending not to hear this conversation): Yah, you run, you get boyfriend.

The two manicurists then proceeded to stop what they were doing to mime running in place.

Are you kidding?

My feet were currently held captive in the hands of my tormenter. I could not leave. I could not even turn away in shame. So I did what any sane person would do. I agreed. Then I tipped generously, as not to be judged for that as well as my weight (you can tell I care far too much what other people think). And I never returned to that salon again.

The thing is, I was not overweight. I was the same weight that I am now. I am by no means a supermodel, but I am not chowing down on McDonalds on the bus home from work every day either. I am normal.

I guess the question that really bugs me is this- if that’s what they say to my face, what in the world do they say in another language “behind my back”? Do you ever wonder?

Kate sig

22 Responses to “Maybe you could stroke my ego while you rub my feet”

  1. Ellie March 19, 2013 at 3:32 pm #

    Oh my gosh, that is horrible. I don’t blame you for not going back, they were pretty rude (even if they didn’t mean to be). I know this sounds ridiculous but I’d rather people who aren’t close to me to just say those type of things behind my back. I don’t want to hear it.

  2. Dana @ Celiac Kiddo March 19, 2013 at 2:17 pm #

    That’s pretty awful! I totally do wonder what they’re saying at the salon, the ladies are always chatting in other languages. I think there was a Seinfeld episode about this with Elaine.
    -Dana

  3. B March 19, 2013 at 2:53 pm #

    Thanks for posting on my blog cause I got to come and see yours.
    Ugh don’t get me started! Everytime I go to get my nails done they start snickering and talking just so, you know they’re talking about me.

  4. julieloven March 20, 2013 at 2:03 pm #

    I always think of that scene in Legally Blonde where they’re chatting with the manicurists in Chinese! I love how blunt foreigners can be, but sometimes it’s a little TOO much!

    • anothercleanslate March 20, 2013 at 2:21 pm #

      You’re right- there is a fine line between honest and TOO honest πŸ™‚

  5. Theresa March 20, 2013 at 5:23 pm #

    I can totally relate! I was going to the same nail shop for years and of course you know I am professionally single (ha). So I started daing someone and had not been in for a couple of months. When I did come in I had a tan. The conversation went like this

    Manicurist: You more darker
    Me: Yes, I spent the weekend at the beach with my boyfriend
    Manicurist: (screaming) OH, YOU GOT BOYFRIEND!? CONGRATULATION! YOU WAIT LONNNG TIME!

    I wantd to die. I told her that her reaction wasn’t entirely appropriate. It was lost in translation.

    • anothercleanslate March 20, 2013 at 5:27 pm #

      One of the many reasons I love you is because I know you really did tell her it was inappropriate!

  6. allison @ TIME OUT March 21, 2013 at 8:42 pm #

    haha! I’ve always wondered if they were talking about me or how ugly my feet were! Finally one day I just came out and asked them.. but of course they denied it! Work would be so much easier if I could speak to my coworkers in another language!

    p.s. you totally have a new follower! I read through some of your old post and I can’t wait for more!

  7. Marie March 23, 2013 at 11:05 am #

    Oh No!!! Those tormentors! I laugh, but I probably would have done the same exact thing…smile, agree, and tip well. )Then I probably would have gone to McDonalds.) Isn’t it times like those when you wish you had the perfect witty comeback?

    • anothercleanslate March 23, 2013 at 11:20 am #

      There was a Coldstone Creamery next door I was very tempted to visit. And yes, I always think of the witty comebacks AFTER I leave the scene!

  8. Ellen @ Bad Word Mama March 23, 2013 at 11:56 am #

    Those salon’s make me very uncomfortable! I hate the feeling I get when I know someone is talking about me and I can’t understand them. You should have said.. “You think I’m fat?.. Well, NO TIP FOR YOU!” Bet they would understand that! LMAO.

  9. Chrystal March 23, 2013 at 6:31 pm #

    Alrighty, then! Maybe they meant you’d meet someone at the gym??? I honestly wish they would just continue talking to each other in their own language and not try to converse with me when I’m getting a pedicure. I don’t want to have to think when I’m being pampered. πŸ˜›

    • anothercleanslate March 23, 2013 at 6:50 pm #

      That’s true. It’s nice to just relax and zone out when getting pampered!

  10. Vinny C March 24, 2013 at 3:06 pm #

    This is just one more reason I’m glad I’m a guy. In the barber shop, we mostly talk about other people’s issues & not each other’s (at least not to each other’s faces).

  11. kianwi March 24, 2013 at 4:54 pm #

    Oh, brother! I can’t believe they had the nerve to say something like that. It sounds like something my grandmother would have said, and while it annoyed me, she was family. You were their customer! I would not have gone back, either.

    • anothercleanslate March 24, 2013 at 5:21 pm #

      It’s funny to me now but definitely did not return. Thanks for reading!

  12. Luchessa May 2, 2013 at 3:21 pm #

    Oh boy…
    i just found you through the latest The Wednesday Chronicles on Nykki’s blog.
    Now you got yourself one more WP follower πŸ˜‰ Nice to meet you Kate.

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